Gate the fucking alleys

the bum super highway



So apparently the royal palm neighborhood is trying to get gated fences on their alleyways.

About Damn time!

i have questions though! soooo many questions!

will the bums and junkies move north or south to pillage and plunder through trash cans?

will there be islands of shopping carts together with one lone guy watching them as others are off on a fix?

where do the undesirables go in Mesa? Mesa has fences on their alleys.

Now me personally,  as some may know, hate junkies.  at the time of this writing i live next to one. i also live in an area with open alleyways. people pass through the alley behind the house that i’m living in now, to get access to my junkie neighbor.

it’s a wild fucking thing to be watering your garden in the evening while junkies are congregating. two grown adults yelling back and forth for everyone to hear, as one explains who he is to the residing, and how he was vetted or referred. I’ve heard them talking prices in meth code. it sure is swell as fuck living around that shit.

Now  when people talk about just dumping some trash out in an alleyway and dipping; that’s a pretty big problem. i know this 100% for sure. I have done it, and I’ve told other people to do it too. do you think someone lines up bulk trash pickup and a new mattress purchase? not this guy! what to do with the old? no car to take it to the dump. Hmmm. wait till midnight and drag that sucker to the alley a few blocks away. shit man, come to think of it, me and a roommate tossed a couch into an apartment dumpster long ways so half of it was straight poking out the top. the process of ditching your furniture at the dumpster area is so common they had to hire a guy to come and check for furniture daily…..maybe he was just a Mexican with a truck looking for a new chair, honestly i don’t have any idea. i see a Mexican in a truck and just assume he’s on the job, them boy’s put in work.

point is: alleys are a fucking fail.


the only big plus to an alley is you don’t have to look at/ wheel out the fucking bin. anti fence, was quoted on  saying:

“I think it really devalues a neighborhood when you have trash cans out in front,”

▲▲▲that is straight up stupid. the bin’s have wheels. that is literally saying once a week the value of your property goes down because you put out the garbage, ya’ dummy.▲▲▲

on the other hand the pro fence side of the article said:

“It’s a highway for bad things to happen,”

▲▲▲this is not a lie. some guy stole my weed once by knife in an alley. if i had been more brazen about medicating at the time and not been in an alley, i wouldn’t have got robbed by the junkies in said alley…Goddamned junkies▲▲▲




the  a big downside to gating the residential alleys in Phoenix for me, is not giving people a place to stop and piss/shit when they’re getting home drunk.

but a big pro to gated alleys is you cant just park your vehicle behind someones house and load it up when they’re out of town, so like that’s pretty cool.


shit! what if we turn alleys into mini campgrounds for shit people? 10 people to an alley each has a tent and their own key to the gate? they could eat out of the dumpsters and minimize food waste and landfill production. they could use one of the trash cans for bathing and with a little help from the neighbors have an address for mail deliveries and access to wifi, maybe a community garden?

“your crazy that would never work! would you have that in your back alley?”

Fuckin’ NOPE!

eating my TRASH?! messing up MY VIEW of the neighbors brick wall?!

maybe if they pay tent rent and a mail fee. MAYBE.





Holy fucking shit!!! its hot in the summertime in Phoenix


sur-FUCKIN-prise, its hot in the summer time again here in Phoenix, AZ. I don’t know how people not already know about this bullshit heat or choose to delete it from memory as soon as November comes, but hey, guess what? we live in a preheated oven for about 5 months out of the year.

I like the heat.

I like that people have come from Florida and other bullshit old people states, to live here, in Phoenix Arizona. A city where you can actually die without air conditioning. Let that shit sink in for a minute….

But wait their’s more!

Only 2 natural non-man made bodies of water exist in the whole goddamned state….so how phoenix is the 6th largest city in the country is a total skull-fucking to the logic receptors in my brain.

no water = dead       no power = dead

Fuckin’ snake/scorpion/gila monster/spider bite yep, you guessed it: DEAD!

Go for a hike…in a literal fucking oven, you dumb ass Phoenician fuck.  Shit, i saw a guy yesterday jogging during the hottest part of the day in direct sunlight, with no water.(it WAS Mesa, so he was probably just running the meth out of his system, so he could do more meth)

There are old movies where dude is stranded in a barren wasteland with an empty canteen, scorched by the sun; skin a dark golden brown, crisp lips cracked and flaking, horse long dead. You cant even drink its blood, the fucking horse evaporated. Yup. We’ve all seen the movies.

Now its no different. Temps are only getting hotter!  This means the DNA of junkies may have adapted to survive the deadly Arizona temps using nothing but: a glass dick, a 44 oz soda, and a piece of cardboard.

Truly awe-inspiring!

If only they would stay in the same place long enough for researchers to tag and document them.

So now, here, pretty soon, we are going to hear stories of people getting airlifted off of a mountain because they didn’t know it was an oven. A couple of people will die to remind the rest of us to drink water and not go outside until mid October. I don’t feel bad about this shit one little bit, I’m a second generation resident. I know not to play with the death orb of radiation. hey, good on me. i can look at the numbers on an oven thermometer and correlate those numbers to the outside thermometer. W00t!  sure as shit cant afford the summer electric bill on my own though….. FUCK…. I’m Dead.