sur-FUCKIN-prise, its hot in the summer time again here in Phoenix, AZ. I don’t know how people not already know about this bullshit heat or choose to delete it from memory as soon as November comes, but hey, guess what? we live in a preheated oven for about 5 months out of the year.
I like the heat.
I like that people have come from Florida and other bullshit old people states, to live here, in Phoenix Arizona. A city where you can actually die without air conditioning. Let that shit sink in for a minute….
But wait their’s more!
Only 2 natural non-man made bodies of water exist in the whole goddamned state….so how phoenix is the 6th largest city in the country is a total skull-fucking to the logic receptors in my brain.
no water = dead no power = dead
Fuckin’ snake/scorpion/gila monster/spider bite yep, you guessed it: DEAD!
Go for a hike…in a literal fucking oven, you dumb ass Phoenician fuck. Shit, i saw a guy yesterday jogging during the hottest part of the day in direct sunlight, with no water.(it WAS Mesa, so he was probably just running the meth out of his system, so he could do more meth)
There are old movies where dude is stranded in a barren wasteland with an empty canteen, scorched by the sun; skin a dark golden brown, crisp lips cracked and flaking, horse long dead. You cant even drink its blood, the fucking horse evaporated. Yup. We’ve all seen the movies.
Now its no different. Temps are only getting hotter! This means the DNA of junkies may have adapted to survive the deadly Arizona temps using nothing but: a glass dick, a 44 oz soda, and a piece of cardboard.
Truly awe-inspiring!
If only they would stay in the same place long enough for researchers to tag and document them.
So now, here, pretty soon, we are going to hear stories of people getting airlifted off of a mountain because they didn’t know it was an oven. A couple of people will die to remind the rest of us to drink water and not go outside until mid October. I don’t feel bad about this shit one little bit, I’m a second generation resident. I know not to play with the death orb of radiation. hey, good on me. i can look at the numbers on an oven thermometer and correlate those numbers to the outside thermometer. W00t! sure as shit cant afford the summer electric bill on my own though….. FUCK…. I’m Dead.
WHY THE FUCK DO WE LIVE HERE?
The Irritated Asshole 